Anger is a complicated concept that is not very well understood by many. It can be negative and as well as positive in certain circumstances. A scholar once said “a person who has a lot of anger inside, definitely loves more than others, because if the colour red indicates anger it also indicate love too”. Being one of the victims little did I know that anger is only one letter away from danger.
In the pas I was girl that always smiled and shared laughter with everyone. As I grew up stepping into teenage life mixed emotions were caused by adolescence. My body and mind went through many complex changes and some of which were difficult to deal with which resulted in me being an introvert. This resulted in me being bullied at home and at school and being unable to control my temper at times.
More so, my parents got divorced and this became my sources of anger as I was filled with bitterness over the separation. My friends at school never noticed the amount of anger I had as I did my best to suppress it all in. On the other hand at home my mother being stressed as well, she could get irritated by every mistakes I made and this would result in her scolding me many times and it frustrated me so much.
This also boasted my personality more inwardly than outwardly directed. As a result of the situation at home I found myself getting low grades at school. This even made my classmates to start teasing me as I would get the lowest grades on each and every subject. Knowingly that I am short tempered I did my best to actually repress acting out of anger. I acted as if all the bullying did not get into me when in actual fact it did.
Bullying continued at school as we wrote more tests and exams and me being the lowest in class. My frustration got to the point where I was easily irritated by the silliest things and this had me nursing my anger within that was only ballooning so much awaiting to explode one day. However, bullying at school resulted in me clenching my fists and ready to aggress anytime. I was provoked but in time I would be able to keep and stay calm. This created a huge monster within me as I hated my class mate so much. Then one day during a lesson my teacher tutored us on life lessons based or studies and success. One of my classmates negatively complimented giving me as an example.
That time I tried to hold in my anger but as the lesson proceeded my classmate kept on making fun of me until I could not control the monster inside me. I snapped and charged towards my classmate like a bull. As we had a physical fight I got hold of a chair and threw it at her and it missed her and smashed the window. The sound of the breaking window hit me so hard in my head that I realized I had to retreat at I was in trouble with the school. I was called for a hearing at the principal’s office. Along with that came counselling from my teacher and my parents. After the incident I got expelled from school, as my classmate I fought with was badly injured.
In conclusion my roller-coaster ride with anger management resulted in me being ashamed and embarrassed of my actions, that I could not even face anyone. However, lesson learnt anger should not be kept inside ballooning as if it will explode one day. After the incident at school I learnt to open up as an extrovert and get immediate help when I have personal problems.