Transcript Commentary: Family Boundaries

I am having problems with boundaries with my daughter Overall, she is a good girl, but she has 21 years rude attitude driving me crazy. (short laugh) makes me frustrating T1: It is sound like you have a difficult time with your daughter. In the same time, you include RUDE ATTITUDE could explain or give an example what do you mean by that. At T1 I use feeling words, (1). I was looking for to be more specific than to be general about her daughter’s behavior. (2)I can see her problem with her daughter (hyp.SC1). (5) C2: On the mother day, I asked her to make a Cake to me as a gift. She refused to make me angry at her and started to argue with her and yelling, I am her mom, and she should listen to me even my sons told her to go and make a Cake for my mom. (in a tense voice) I love my boys they are delightful, lovely and Innocent. (Bright Eyes).

T2: I see, it is sound hard to get rejected from your daughter in your Mother’s Day, but I am wondering did you ask her what she does not want to make a cake for you. At C2, she started to talk about her sons in a positive way but her daughter in a negative way I felt angry, I remember myself with my family and how they prefer guys than girls (countertransference). (4)At T2, I wanted from her to see her daughter’s view maybe she will not be angry at her when she sees the differences of opinion of people. ()I used feeling word (1) C3: My daughter is mean and rude to me an aspect I’m struggling with. She rude to me but she is not with her father even though he does not help her with money when she needs I am the one who does even though her father has a lot of money

T3: I realized when you describe your sons you positively represent them and talk very well about them I am wondering if your daughter has discussed that with you or notice that. Also, do you think your daughter loves you or how do you know when she loves you? C3: To me, it seems like she is comparing herself and her ex-husband, and it looks like she is not sure if her daughter cares about her or loves her as she loves her father too. At T3, I gave two questions is my mistake she did not answer it I should ask one question and wait for her feedback. (3) The second issue I wanted from her to see how her daughter loves her and care about her too. C4: (Smile and look down) yes, I think my daughter loves me when she is not busy she texts me and ask me to go hiking, or going to drink to gather. She is always the one who starts to say I love you. I think I am very strict with her because I see myself in here when I was in her age no one was with me I was alone, and I used to figure out everything to me. Maybe I am looking for her to do the right thing without show her how to do it. I need to change my way with her.

T3: I can see how your daughter’s behavior give you a difficult timeI am glad you found many positive things about her, on the other hand, could you give me appositive think about your daughter. At C4, she changed her believes about her daughter, I can see (hyp. P1) that’s wants from her daughter to be like her. (5) C4: She is a unique when she put something in her mind and gets it, for example, she was looking for a job, and she got in a day. She wanted a car, and now she has a car from her hard work. I should probably tell her more about how she unique.T4 As I understand you want from your daughter to be a good person and act like an adult and choose a good choice, right, so I am wondering have you ever use with her a positive reinforcement with her

C5: yes, I do when she got accepted to the university, I told her I was excited and telling her I am so proud of you, I am so glad you did, so I do give her a positive reinforcement, but I think I have to give her more. (look down, sad voice) I can see now I am not equal with my daughter and my sons when she did something good I say thank you to her but when my sons did something good to me I get very excited, and I do party I regret, but I will work on it. At C4, most of the time, she was talking about her daughter in negative ways which make her angry with her  I prayed to let her see the positive side of her daughter At T4, I am paraphrasing her outcome and what she wants from her daughter (5)

T6: I am glad you can see that also it is not easy to raise two sons and daughter you doing a great job to help them to be a real people and independent. At T6, my word affected her I feel like she became more open with me my word touched her and made her feel comfortable to talk.[bookmark: _GoBack] C7: You know not only my daughter who makes me frustrated also my boyfriend I am not sure why he is ignoring me and deal with me differently, I wish if he can be more honest with me and straightforward if he does not want me to be with him just tell me and I will leave. We had fought because he is ignoring me and I am not sure if he already wants to be with me because I am older than him, and his mom does not like that. She asked him to choose another girl who is younger and does not have kids. He is 36 years old.T7: You are not sure about your boyfriends feeling about you. And his mom does not agree about your relationship that is right, ok for how long he is behavior change forward you? At C7, she describes her relationship with her boyfriend I can see problem intimacy

(5)At T7, I was looking for her feedback that I understand her. (2)I did not wait for her to talk, I just realized her face move up and down where she agrees and ask her another question without waiting to add information or listening to her (3) C8: I am not sure, but for a while, he told me he is the mom in the hospital and the dangerous situation, and the doctor asks him to sign a paper because maybe she will die after the surgery. T9: Do you think that is what his behavior has changed with you? C10: I can tell because he changed since his mom goes to the hospital. I feel sorry for him because he is in the hard situation and I was fighting with him. He needs from me to be a real supporter. I feel like I want to text him a massage right now.`